Boxes And Booze: A Moving Story From Tuscaloosa

We're happy to introduce one of our newest contributors at Townsquare Media Tuscaloosa, Mike McKenzie.

As we all know, moving is the absolute worst.

Even though Mike is already an Alabamian, he just recently moved to Tuscaloosa, Alabama.

Sit back and enjoy his thoughts on getting through that next big move.

During my move to Tuscaloosa, of course, it became obvious I would need boxes.

When you relocate, you gotta have boxes.
And the best place to get boxes for free is your local liquor store.

They’re always happy to give them away. Less cardboard for them. More dignity for their dumpster.

I’ve moved a lot over my nearly 40-year radio career. Over the decades, Jim Beam carried my books. Jack Daniel’s handled the flatware. Johnny Walker protected our sentimental junk. You know, the stuff you swear you’ll go through someday but never do.

But during this last move, I noticed something unsettling.

We had an inordinate number of Mohawk Vodka boxes.

Not from one store.
From five or six different package outlets.

Why is there a huge demand for Mohawk Vodka?

Now, I’m not here to shame anyone’s taste buds. But Mohawk Vodka isn’t exactly aspirational. It’s not smooth. It’s not refined. It’s not something you “discover.” It’s something you settle for.

That’s when it hit me.

This might be an economic indicator.

Think about it. In 2016, America was a Grey Goose and CÎROC nation. Just before COVID, we flirted with Belvedere, Ketel One, and Absolut; middle-class confidence in a bottle. You weren’t rich, but you weren’t apologizing either.

Fast-forward to now.

We’re boxing up Mohawk Vodka.
Vodka that tastes like it was filtered through regret and a Brita pitcher from 1998. Vodka that barely qualifies as a well brand in dive bars that still smell like stale Marlboro butts and broken dreams.

I’m not even a big vodka guy. I prefer tequila. Occasionally, I’ll savor a fine single malt scotch. But I do know the difference between good vodka and bad vodka. And Mohawk lives firmly on the wrong side of that line.